Fair Weather Vegan

More Tasty Non-Dairy Ice Cream

The real surprise is that I have a Post-Punk Kitchen recipe I've been testing and will be ready to write about tomorrow, but in the meantime, have some coconut-milk ice cream.

Larry and Luna's Coconut Bliss is now hekshered parve with the heart-K.  It's also still vegan, gluten-free, and sweetened with agave nectar.  I found the chocolate hazelnut fudge flavor to be less aggressively coconut-y than prior flavors I've tried, with an extra crunch from the nuts and a strong chocolate flavor complemented by the more subtle hazelnut, which creates a drier sensation on the palate similar to some of their other products.  I suspect this is their homage to nocciola, the traditional gelato.  

Turtle Mountain's Purely Decadent coconut milk mint chip, by contrast, is very icy like a sorbet.  It shares all of the positive production attributes listed above  The mint flavor is quite refreshing and tastes natural.  I am a bit taken aback by the ingredient list, which includes beet sugar to make the (Dutch) chocolate used for the chips, chicory, and carob (the root of all evil), and yet when I was eating it I thought it was delicious, so perhaps I shouldn't have revealed this to you before you tried it. 

It's interesting to me how these non-dairy products, and also something like Soy/Rice/Hemp Dream, use words in their names to emphasize the idyll you will presumably enjoy if you eat them.  It's almost like they're trying to convince skeptics that the stuff will taste good ;) 

Marich Triple Chocolate Toffee

My 'choose the least expensive item on the shelf' strategy pays off yet again.  The company is frankly a wee bit creepy, at least based on its website.  Headquartered in Hollister, it only produces candies that are round, and that includes a line called Trufflz! (reminds me of Dooce and the way she's taken to writing "shingles!" with jazz hands) and one called Scookies, which are ball-shaped bits of cookie dipped in chocolate.  In other words, product naming is not the strong suit.  Marich also kind of overdoes it with the flavor combinations, as this particular candy consists of toffee, a layer of milk chocolate, a layer of of dark chocolate, and a layer of "marbled" dark and white chocolate.  But it is, in the final analysis,  pretty tasty.  You'd expect a toffee to be crunchy, but these are pillowy to the bite with the toffee coming only at the finish, and hints of almond.  I couldn't figure out why the first thought that came to my mind was that they tasted more like baked good than like candy, until I remembered that for awhile some big company was putting out chocolate-covered cookie dough that looked like malted-milk balls, and with all the different types of chocolate cushioning the toffee these candies had a bit of the same texture.  None of the chocolate flavors could come out clearly, but they all melded into a sweet mish-mosh, so if you're not a purist and you're a toffee fan these give good value for the money, plus they're hekshered dairy.  At least you're not paying for something with a name like 'trufflz!' 

The Holy Grail

It's not just that Zingerman's is chock full of the best food, from their own breads and cheeses to $150 imported balsamic vinegar (yes, it exists).  The most amazing thing about the deli is that clearly its application process requires you to bring documentation that you are among the ten most pleasant, patient people on earth, otherwise you won't be hired.  If, in the midst of the utter chaos of a line around the block trying to reach the sandwiches, and tributaries breaking through the floodwaters trying to get to the cheese counter and the bread stand, you can treat every customer as if she were the only person in the shop, you are a Zingerman's employee.  The one knock on its family of stores is that it worships the pig, and very few of its products are kosher.  The Roadhouse does serve kosher, hand-dipped corndogs that are next on my list of things to try in Ann Arbor. 

Items at or from Zingerman's that are highly recommended, thus far:

Chocolate chunk sourdough bread
Pumpernickel (try it with the whitefish salad)
Gelato (the dulce de leche rivals the texture of Birite ice cream, and the dark chocolate is better than Ciao Bella)
Piquillo pimento peppers 
any kind of pastry, also brownies 
Papa Louie claims that the corned beef rivals that of Shapiro's, previous holder of the world's best deli title

If you can't make it to Michigan, the mail order catalogue is a decent substitute. 

Dark Chocolate Versions of Conventional Candy

Yea or nay?  Reese's is coming out with a dark version of the peanut butter cup.   There are already dark varieties of things like Mounds.  Clearly the big companies are trying to tap into the growing sophistication of the average American's chocolate preference (witness Hershey's Cacao Reserve line, etc).  But given that in the average mass-produce bar the dark chocolate is of the same quality as the milk, will it make a difference?  In the bars I've tried it does soften the taste of some of the more aggressively sweet offerings, and sometimes changes the flavor enough to make a candy you've eaten 17,000 times since childhood interesting, but there are also bars for which you wonder whether it makes a difference at all.  Thoughts? 

More Ice Cream Than You Can Shake A Stick At

I haven't been eating at anywhere particularly blogworthy lately, but I have been eating what for me is an inordinate amount of frozen dairy.  My usual view of iced treats is that the closer it is to drinkable form, the more I like it.  But I've also made two trips to Greyhouse for gelato (latest flavor: mint dark chocolate), and even ventured inside a Coldstone.  Coldstone's ice cream by itself doesn't taste like much because they bank so heavily on the mix-ins.  Some new flavors which may be at your local store are pretty decent, however.  Chocolate cake batter has a light, aerated look and does taste strangely like it came from the mixing bowl.  Butterscotch Jell-o pudding is something that couldn't possibly go wrong.  Candy mix-ins still tend to overwhelm the vagueries of the flavors themselves, but that's why people go there, right?  It certainly can't be for the humiliating singing ritual that the employees are forced into. 

Touring Lafayette's Gourmet Corridor With The Elderly

[Note- edited several times at the behest of my family, although I did fight for the literary quality of the thing to very little avail.] 

There are Lafayette fixtures and Lafayette fixtures.  I mean, I've lived in or visited the area for 27 years and never been inside the Triple X (perhaps because I've never shaken the belief I'll be arrested going in, despite the fact that it's a burger joint).  But I'm a regular on the street that contains both Kokoro and Bistro 501, even if like most locals I fear that Crazy Tony of Kokoro is going to throw me out of his place on some pretext or other.  Most vegetarians are not big fans of traditional French food, because there's nothing for them to eat.  Bistro 501 always at least has a veggie version of its cassoulet.  But its lunch menu, is, surprisingly, not French at all.  They serve croques monsieur and madame and a daily quiche, and that's about it.  There are a large number of vegetarian options from salads to eggplant and portabello sandwiches to a thai pasta made with lemongrass and coconut milk.   

American Chocolate Fans Losing Out

Cote d'Or's Belgian site lists 17 types of products for its domestic market, and only six, all of them plain bars, for its American market.  The Belgian version also gets sentences like

Double Lait et Dessert 58: des recettes Côte d’Or qui font partie de l’histoire des Belges (Dessert 58 fût créé pour l’Exposition Universelle de 58). Cette gamme est caractérisée par le contraste entre l’onctuosité du praliné et l’intensité du vrai chocolat.

I may not have been able to remember how to say 'my mother isn't here and I don't speak French' on the phone yesterday, but Pretentious Chocolate is a universal language.  Since Kraft does import some of the products straight from Belgium, I am able to report that they're not entirely off in that description.  The Lait Truffle bar does indeed combine a silky smooth, milk chocolate truffle center that melts away in a bite with a hint of high-quality dark chocolate around the outside. 

Meanwhile, across the pond, the Cadbury brand continues its reign of terror.  Although its Soft English Toffee Bar is probably the best I've seen it offer, with a vaguely buttery filling with caramel overtones, the surrounding chocolate continues to be blunt and aggressive.  How's that for choco-speak?  Foreign companies also never bother to heksher bars, which is fairly reflexive for their American counterparts. 

Lake Champlain Sao Thome Dark Bar: The Interview

Friend and loyal reader The Redheaded Stepchild Who Is Not A Whig (one time only nickname run-together!) was recently kind enough to share her chocolate bar, in the hopes that she might gain fame and fortune among the other eleven of you.  Having tasted the bar, I promptly called up the fictional president of Lake Champlain Chocolates, Snidely Q. Whiplash, and conducted the following interview. 

Q: It says on the wrapper "sweet indulgences that capture the essence of Vermont." 
A: That's right.

Q: Sao Thome is a small island nation off the west coast of Africa.  How's the skiing there?  Do they also have a socialist in Congress? 
A: We feel that the 'essence of Vermont' may be interpreted in many ways.  

Q: Has there been any negative feedback from Principe, whose name is noticeably absent?
A: The U.S. embassy was very helpful in quelling the peaceful civil action outside our factory.  

Q: Why does Typepad suck so much at creating posts that include a lot of artificial paragraphing?
A: Possibly their developers were busy playing with their new Wii Fit when it came time to debug that part of the platform.  

Q: If a company describes its chocolate in terms suitable for a pretentious wine, how hard should it be slapped?
A: There was no intent to parrot the wine industry in calling this bar " both fruity and robust" and "exceedingly complex, yet astonishingly pure."  

Q: So, pretty hard, you're saying.
A: No comment.  

Q: Actually, the one way in which chocolate is similar to wine is that it can be either dry or sweet.  Would you describe this bar as closer on the spectrum to Valrhona or Hershey?
A: It is our policy to create completely independent flavor profiles, but if it should bear some resemblance to a product imported from Belgium, we would be unsurprised.  

Q: If I were to open the bar and hear "resounding vanilla tones," should I call a doctor?
A: Lake Champlain Chocolates is indemnified against any action resulting from its use of mixed metaphors. 

Q: Do you have any comment on the statement "this bar is fine, but their filled varieties are better"?
A: As long as you're purchasing our products, no.  

Q: How long, measured in repetitions of the track "Lovestoned/I Think That She Knows Interlude" by Justin Timberlake, did it take this reporter to write the piece?
A: About five, I'd say.  And I hope that she remembered to save it along the way, given that I read the last one was destroyed in a log-in incident. 
Q: Don't ask. 

The Culture Craze

Suddenly, everyone  in America (or at least every woman plus John McEnroe) is supposedly obsessed with this probiotic concept. All of us have been informed that we have deeply dysfunctional gut flora and we must fix them with special bacteria found in yogurt.  Indeed, this was the phenomenon which started Sarah Haskins doing Target Women in order to mock it, so it's had one positive effect.  The organic cheese producers are thrilled, because at long last there is a wider trend that dovetails with part of their own work: creating things with cultures. 

Sometimes,  Fat Louie must admit, she purchases things based on a very simple calculation: which is the least expensive thing on the shelf?  I was searching for cream cheese and Nancy's Cultured Cream Cheese was a good dollar less than the other versions, including plain old Philly.  I was pretty scared of it at first, because I thought the cultures would make it taste sour and also possibly make me sick.  Cream cheese is normally defined by being bland and inoffensive.  'Unpredictable' not a word usually found in the cream cheese lexicon.  Yet, for this brand the element of surprise is quite welcome and will make your breakfast breadstuffs interesting.  A bite may be tangy and sharp (and yes, a bit sour) or it may be slightly sweet.   This cream cheese is hekshered, so you can feel comfortable slathering it on your Izzy's bagels.  The Oregon-based company also has a comprehensive small producer philosophy and will take back your containers for recycling.  It's been around for thirty years and will no doubt outlast the current marketing blitz.  In short, highly recommended. 

Cookie Madness Scores Again

To commemorate Bastille Day, a couple of my friends threw a raclette party.  I had to look it up, but was comforted by the fact that I was not just celebrating the French, who have always looked down upon my people, but also upholding a proud Wallonie tradition.  Anyhow.  Raclette is delicious, especially when accompanied by new potatoes, tasty bread, and asparagus.  I was responsible for bringing dessert, and if you'd seen the disaster area that my kitchen becomes whenever I bake, you too would have been worried.  I am physically incapable of keeping mixed items within the boundaries of the bowl or things that can be spilled off the counters.  The worry was intensified by my use of a new recipe, one that made 'thin and crispy' chocolate chip cookies.  The dough wasn't entirely delicious.  The cookies were indeed crisp to the point of being brittle and so thin they spread all kinds of ways in the pan. 

And yet, the partygoers loved them.  Anna of Cookie Madness is a trustworthy authority indeed.  Here is the recipe. 

2 cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon salt [optional, as far as I'm concerned]
2 sticks unsalted butter
3/4 cup sugar
3/4 cup firmly packed dark brown sugar
1 teaspoon water
1 teaspoon vanilla
2 large eggs
2 cups semi-sweet chocolate chips

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (176 C). Line some cookie sheets with parchment.

Mix together the flour, soda and salt; set aside.

Cream the butter and both sugars with an electric mixer. When creamy, beat in the water, vanilla and eggs. Beat eggs just until mixed – don’t over-beat. Add the flour mixture gradually and stir until almost combined, then add the chocolate chips and stir until all flour is incorporated. [The mixture will initially be heavy and STICKY and a huge pain to use a mixer on.  Make sure your bowl is big enough.  As you add the flour the dough will become dry and this will worry you also.  It will turn out fine.]

Scoop up tablespoons of dough (only slightly rounded rather than heaped) and arrange 2 inches apart on cookie sheets. Bake or 12-14 minutes or until cookies have brown edges and look done. [Cookies will spread a lot, but having bigger ones than she recommends actually makes the middle less crisp and works well.]

Let rest on cookie sheets for about 2 minutes, then transfer to a wire rack to cool.

This makes a metric ton of cookies.  I brought about 30 to the party and still had about a third of the bowl of batter left to freeze.